Have you ever wondered the most important part of setting a new goal? What really makes it work? Why do you set some goals and get right to it, while others just sort of wither away?

I have lists of goals from the past that have never seen the light of day.

They sat in a notebook, only to be scrutinized years later. When I wrote them down I actually wanted those things. It wasn’t that I didn’t, I truly did. 

After dissecting the goals of yesteryear I believe I have figured out where I went wrong. 

Let me start with my experience as a sleep deprived, new mother. I wanted it all.

I wanted to be a great mom, to own a successful business, to be fit and healthy, to have an incredible spiritual connection through prayer and meditation.

What actually happened? After a very long night of feedings, I woke up early, barely making it to the kitchen. I had very little clarity about how a business would fit into my already chaotic life.

This dream business wasn’t already there before the baby came along, and I was really just focused on whether I could manage to get a shower in on any particular day.

I was depressed and struggled to manage my life, much less get more than two actual workouts in per week. 

If I had more than 30 seconds to sit down for a meditation or prayer, it was far more likely that I would fall asleep, and yes, I could fall asleep sitting up. I was exhausted all. the. time. 

I couldn’t have under any circumstances forced myself to reach my goals because my fundamental needs weren’t being met. 

I was trying to skip building the foundation  and move right on to constructing the skyscraper.

I needed to get clear on where I was at that moment to move forward. I look back and realize my goals should have been about getting enough sleep and proper food and water. 

Maybe I could have hired a babysitter for a few hours a week to work with a therapist or a coach. My mindset at the time was to just power through, even when the power plant was completely shut down. I see now that getting a bit of sleep and turning on the generators could have helped me move forward and make the goals that I had move forward in a meaningful way. 

 When we are constantly struggling and feel depleted it is impossible to really invest in the future. We need to deal with life right here, at this moment. We have three incredible resources for creating life the way we want right now:

    1. Clarity

    1. Perspective

    1. Intention

Finding clarity is essential to figuring out what is important today and knowing where you are going tomorrow. 

It helps us to sustain motivation in pursuit of our goals. We find out who we are, what we have to learn, and how to get there through clarity.

    1. What are your values, strengths, and weaknesses? 

    1. What are your goals and passions?

    1. What plan can you create to achieve it? (What skills are required? How does your behavior have to change? Who do you have to be to become the version of yourself that is required?)

Determining your perspective is vital to creating the feelings we need to propel us forward in life. 

We don’t choose emotions, they are a natural, automatic reaction that we have to circumstances in life. We can, however, change our perspective, and thus our feelings to create what we want. 

I was the maid-of-honor in several weddings to women I absolutely adore. One of those was a big, beautiful Italian wedding. There were to be 500 guests and my dear friend asked me to make a speech. 

I, at the time, was one of the shyest people I knew. I trembled in front of an audience of 5. 

This really pulled me out of my comfort zone and the thought of it made me feel nauseous, but I agreed and started my preparations. I knew I had to train myself out of my natural response to that fear. 

I approached my duty very thoughtfully and wanted to make sure my speech was custom made for them. 

I reflected on my relationship with this friend and what it was like to watch their love blossom. After many edits, I was sure I had the perfect speech for them. 

At that point, I decided to practice everyday. I visualized a large audience as I repeated the speech over and over again and I even said it in the mirror. I felt the feelings I wanted to feel that day – confident, joyful, natural, and polished. 

The day arrived, and as the butterflies showed up I reminded myself that those were the feelings of excitement, not sickness. 

I did it! I got through my speech exactly as practiced. My nerves settled into confidence and I even had somebody ask me afterward if I was a professional speaker. 

I was overjoyed, not with how it turned out, but mostly with how I trained myself to have a new perspective and thus, respond to the stress of being in front of an audience. 

Intention isn’t something people talk about often and when used properly it can create instant change in the mind, body, and life of an individual. Intention is what happens when we are completely present in the moment, yet determined mentally to create a specific end or objective. 

I believe wholeheartedly that intention reaches out into the ethos and bides the universe to support us. 

When I say that, it sounds like a bunch of hooey, but if you’ve ever looked into quantum physics on even a superficial level you have probably heard of entanglement. 

If we can access this incredible occurrence on purpose, we have the power to create any shifts in life, including the miraculous.  

I believe with the right training and mindset we are limitless. We can create the conditions in life that we seek and although life may hand us circumstances that are beyond our control, it is how we respond that creates the conditions of our life.

Take care, 


Disclaimer: Please note that this article is intended to provide general information and inspiration. While it offers valuable insights, it’s essential to remember that it’s not a substitute for professional advice or therapy.