Recently, I had a conversation with a young woman who believes she needs a coach that is super tough on her to be affective. I will respect her anonymity and call her Angela.
She talked about a prior coach who even suggested a bracelet that shocks her when she is not acting in the right way.
I didn’t think that much about it as I have had similar conversations with others. People have thought I am too nice to be effective as their coach.
What I realize, is that we are like computers.
We run on the instructions we were given at a young age.
Our instructions, were downloaded between the ages of 0 and 7. This is a natural occurrence. It happens when we watch our family, friends, teachers, media, and culture.
We learn everything necessary to be a functional member of our family and community.
It is a beautiful system that gives us what we need to move through our life. An example would be, learning to open a door.
Can you imagine if you had to re-learn how to open a door every time you walked up to one?
This is why the instruction, has been downloaded into the subconscious. It makes our life easier when we have good instructions.
During that time of life, we are in a brainwave state known as theta. There are five brain wave states as you can see by the chart below.
This is a state of deep relaxation that occurs when we are in meditation.
Theta is a state that gives us a higher capacity to learn rapidly. That is why I say these instructions are downloaded. Essentially, we were in a state of hypnosis.
It makes our life easier when we have good instructions.
What happens though, if we have bad instructions?
If a computer has bad instructions an error alert may show. Or the computer could run slow, have a glitch, or turn off altogether.
When we have poor instructions in our life, we get poor results as well. It shows up looking like a toxic relationship, a health habit that makes us sick, or the inability to reach goals.
We don’t call them instructions though, we call them beliefs.
Beliefs have the ability to create or destroy.
-Tony Robbins
This quote couldn’t be more accurate.
My friend, Angela, that I told you about earlier has the belief that change comes from extreme consequences.
You have no idea how many people believe this, and I did at one time too.
I had zero ability to get the results I wanted out of my life. And unless there was going to be a major loss or consequence I couldn’t live with, I couldn’t make myself change.
I have a lot of empathy for that.
We aren’t choosing limiting beliefs on purpose. From the ages of 0 to 2 we don’t have the consciousness to choose at all. The beliefs come in through observation alone.
From 3-7 there is an extremely limited ability to decide what meaning we give to events.
Here is an example:
Imagine a father of a four year old boy walks through the door. He had the worst day at work.
There was a problem and dad got blamed for it. Now, he’s wondering if he will even have a job the next morning.
As dad walks in he trips over his son’s toys as he is playing a few feet away. Dad says in a brutal tone, “How many times do I have to tell you to keep the doorway clear? What do I have to do to make you stop doing this? You never learn!”
The little boy interpreted in that moment that he isn’t capable of learning. He interprets that his dad’s reaction means he isn’t able to make change happen unless it’s a hard lesson.
The child doesn’t realize the father is taking his bad day out on him.
This is not a traumatic event, not even significant to the dad.
We carry beliefs that can affect our lives in the negative or positive. Sometimes, the rest of our lives.
It can affect all areas of life including finances, relationships, career success, health, our feelings about ourselves and our abilities, literally every area of life.
Past the age of about nine, we had more control over what meaning we decide to give events. That doesn’t mean, however, that we were aware of it.
Humans have a propensity towards negativity. This bias is due to the history of humans and is a behavior passed down through our ancestry.
Originally, it was meant to keep us safe from harm. Humans had to know the dangers of their environment which included:
This list goes on, but you get an idea of why this became a part of our makeup.
That being said, there are a couple ways our beliefs transform after the age of seven:
It’s not likely that an adolescent will take responsibility for their beliefs. Of course, anything is possible.
Once people are mature enough to take responsibility for their lives, they may want to modify their:
When this happens, they soon realize changing these things is way easier said, than done.
Lucky for us, we have neuroplasticity. That’s a fancy word for, we can change our brain.
This is great news because it means we can also alter our limiting beliefs.
There are several ways to change our subconscious beliefs intentionally. Here are three:
So many people are not familiar with energy psychology. I wasn’t either until I discovered PSYCH-K®️. It is a modality that uses the body to change the mind at the subconscious level.
It is easy to do with a trained facilitator and very effective.
I will talk to my friend Angela. I want to make sure she knows, that she too, can change her life. She can change the belief that the change itself is extremely difficult and needs a tough outside force.
To simplify, I have created a visual graphic of everything discussed in this newsletter.
I now believe change unfolds naturally and easily, and she can too.
We all have the ability to make the changes we want in our life, but we have to decide to move forward.
This requires us to take responsibility for what we have created in our life. This doesn’t mean it’s our fault. Absolutely not! But it is our responsibility.
If you would like to know more about PSYCH-K®️ feel free to look around my website or reach out to me.
Take care,
Jen
Disclaimer: Please note that this article is intended to provide general information and inspiration. While it offers valuable insights, it’s essential to remember that it’s not a substitute for professional advice or therapy.
