Rewrite Your Patterns, Rewire Your Life: A 15-Minute Practice That Works

“I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you

But with the beast inside, there’s nowhere we can hide…”

—Imagine Dragons, Demons

These lyrics capture something so profoundly human—the desire to protect others from our inner struggles, and the quiet awareness that we can’t hide from ourselves forever.

Awareness is one of the greatest tools we have. It’s not about shame or blame. It’s about understanding who we are, what we bring to the table, and how we want to grow.

Whether we like it or not, our past has shaped us. And the only way to create lasting change is by being honest about where we’ve come from and how it’s impacted us. That kind of vulnerable honesty opens the door to healing, change, and real agency in our lives.

The Shadow: What We Don’t Want to See (But Must)

If you’re familiar with the work of Carl Jung, you know the “shadow” refers to the parts of ourselves we reject, suppress, or refuse to see. It’s not just the “bad” stuff—it’s also our fears, wounds, unmet needs, and even hidden strengths we’ve been too scared to claim.

Sometimes, we repeat the same relationship dynamics, personal behaviors, or family patterns for years—even decades—without realizing it. We stay in loops not because we’re broken, but because we’re unaware. The minute we bring conscious attention to what’s been driving us, everything begins to shift.

This process of uncovering the hidden parts of ourselves can feel uncomfortable at first, even confronting. But in the discomfort, there is gold. When we allow ourselves to witness our own patterns without judgment, we reclaim power that had been stuck in unconscious loops.

Our relationships often reflect our unconscious patterns more clearly than anything else. When someone consistently triggers strong emotional reactions in us, they’re usually activating something within our shadow. For instance, if you find yourself intensely irritated by someone’s need for validation, it might reveal your own unacknowledged need for recognition. By pausing to ask, “What does this reaction tell me about myself?” you transform daily interactions into opportunities for profound self-awareness.

As Mateo Sol puts it: “When you continue to ignore these signs, you perpetuate the cycle of your suffering.”

The Resistance We All Face

When first approaching shadow work, many of us encounter resistance. This resistance isn’t just stubbornness—it’s a protective mechanism designed to shield us from potential pain. You might notice yourself thinking: “I don’t have time for this,” “This is too uncomfortable,” or “I’ve already dealt with my issues.” These thoughts are completely normal. The ego constructs these defenses to maintain its familiar narrative. But the most transformative growth often waits just beyond this resistance. Think of it like muscle development—the necessary tension creates the strength. By acknowledging resistance when it arises—without judgment—you create space for genuine curiosity about what lies beneath it. This awareness itself becomes a powerful step in your journey.

Is “Shadow Work” a Scientific Concept?

Not exactly—“shadow work” is rooted in Jungian psychology, not hard science. But the practices used to access and integrate our shadow have been rigorously studied in modern psychology and neuroscience.

Practices like:

• Naming emotions (affect labeling)
• Reappraisal (rewriting internal narratives)
• Mindfulness
• Self-compassion
• Values-based action (from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy)
• Expressive writing

All of these are backed by decades of peer-reviewed research. They help us move out of blind reactivity and into conscious, values-aligned living. And they make this work not only possible—but transformational.

How do we gain greater awareness and thus agency in our own lives? Here is a simple weekly practice (15-20 minutes/day):

1. Mindful check‑in (3 min): Name 1–2 emotions you’re feeling right now. Rate the intensity (1–10). Note where they show up in your body. (This helps calm your brain’s emotional center.) SAGE Journals
2. Self‑distanced reflection (7 min): “Why did [your name] react that way? What would future‑me say about this moment?” This creates space from the emotion so you can see it clearly.  PubMed
3. Reappraisal (3 min): Write one new, truer story about the experience. How else could you view it? What might this challenge be helping you learn or unearth? PMC
4. Values + plan (2 min): Identify the deeper value at stake (e.g. belonging, autonomy, authenticity). Then write one ‘if-then’ implementation intention. Example: ‘If I feel jealousy, then I’ll pause and name it before reacting.’ ScienceDirectResearchGate
5. Self‑compassion cue (30 sec): Offer yourself kindness. “This is a human moment. May I respond wisely.” Optional: Place your hand on your heart.  PMC

Optional: Expressive Writing (3–4 Days/Week)

Freewrite for 15 minutes on a shadow theme—like jealousy, control, people-pleasing, or fear. Don’t edit. Just write. Then sit with what came up and reflect on what it’s trying to show you.

This kind of writing gives shape to the intangible. You’re not just thinking about your shadow—you’re dialoguing with it. And in that dialogue, you can discover truth, clarity, and next steps.

As some of you may know from previous posts, I have kept a journal for most of my life. This practice started at the age of eight and although I haven’t maintained it perfectly over the years, I have noticed the profound effect keeping a journal has made on my life—especially when implementing some of the practices above. My experience is that these things (shadows) aren’t necessary unknown to me, but more often unacknowledged. Once we own up to them, we have great agency, choice, and responsibility for how we will move forward.

I know that life gets busy and we all have many competing priorities, but I encourage you to make this one of them. Try it out for three months and see the impact.

Integration Is the Goal

This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about knowing yourself—fully. When we have the courage to look into the shadows, we often find buried gifts: strength we forgot we had, clarity we didn’t know we needed, and parts of ourselves we’re finally ready to welcome home.

Your shadow is not your enemy. It’s your teacher. And it holds keys to your personal evolution.

Often, you do have to walk through the dark to get to the light.

But the more you walk that path, the more you realize— you are the light.

Be well,

Jennifer

p.s. Stay ahead of the game and join our community! Sign up for our weekly newsletter HERE to get exclusive insights, tips, and strategies right in your inbox. Don’t miss out on the chance to elevate your journey every week.

Michigan Life Coaching, Personal Growth, and PSYCH-K®️. Taking your life to the next level and creating the abundance you deserve.